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Downsizing without the drama

The past year has made people ask so much of their homes as people brought in work, school and exercise. It not only took a toll on the aesthetics, but also our lifestyles, said Marni Jameson, a syndicated home and lifestyle columnist with several books on downsizing. “COVID-19 changed the way we live in our homes and what we expect from them,” Jameson said. For people in the process of downsizing to a smaller home ,it’s best approached with an end goal in mind.

“Find your motivation. Do you want to live in a smaller, lighter footprint? Are you moving from 3,000 square feet to 1,500 square feet? Do you only want to keep what you need, use or love? Having a goal in mind will help rev your engines,” Jameson said. When it comes to downsizing Jameson prefers the term “rightsizing” instead. “It’s upsizing for many people” because they will be living in their ideally sized space, she said. For adults who are combining two houses, decluttering is required.

“Boomer-age folks are getting remarried in midlife, and they need to fit two houses into one. One house plus one house needs to equal one house. Each has to get rid of half a house,” Jameson said. Don’t fantasize that you will be able to fit in all your furniture, appliances, clothes and gadgets. “Measure it out. Do a floor plan. Use a tape measure to see what will fit. Space is finite; your stuff isn’t,” Jameson said.

Be practical. For example, measure kitchen shelves to see how many glasses they will hold and get rid of the excess, she said.

Downsizing can be an emotional experience. We hang onto much of our stuff for the memories. Getting rid of things can feel like cutting off an arm, Jameson said. Start the process in a place where you won’t get emotional, such as the linen closet, under the sink or the garage.

“Once you start, you’ll get momentum. Then you can move on to more difficult spaces like the clothes closet, children’s rooms and photos. The photos are hard,” Jameson said. Tread lightly when it comes to the “box of feels” — the keepsakes, souvenirs and inherited treasures — because that can become “a sinkhole of sentiment,” Jameson said. “Be prepared. You don’t know what will trip your feelings,” she said. The key is to manage the stories those things evoke. “That’s what you’re connected to,” Jameson said.

Sometimes it helps to choose a number when it comes to precious items, whether it’s a collection of milk glasses or fishing lures. Save one or five, take photos of the rest and let them go. Digitize what you can: photos, old video cassettes and films, le tters, certificates, CDs and DVDs, Jameson said. They can be saved in the cloud or through a service like ScanMyPhotos.com. “Instead of feeling sad about letting go of your possessions, think of how beneficial they will be for someone else,” she said.

Put the dining room table that doesn’t fit on Craigslist or in the classifieds (use precaution when meeting and only accept cash). Sell your jewelry on eBay or through consignment stores and higher end items through auction houses or TheRealReal.com. Keep track of donations for tax writeoffs and use Intuit’s ItsDeductible feature (app or online) to find out what they’re worth, Jameson said. Be creative with hard-to-part with items. Turn your wedding gown into a baptismal gown or pillow, or cut off a piece of fabric and add to a scrapbook.

One of Jameson’s books, “Downsizing the Family Home: A Workbook,” is a tool to help. Filled with advice and how-to checklists, it’s also a scrapbook and journal to retain family history. Downsizing may be hard, but it’s also freeing. “Most people are not remorseful. They feel great about it,” Jameson said.